Chapter Thirty: A Truly Petty Man

The little nun was obviously bluffing; she was even poorer than Li Yishan, so how could she possibly afford to support He Chang’an?

‘She’s so young—even if she tried selling herself, she’d barely fetch a few taels of silver,’ He Chang’an grumbled inwardly.

Yet that didn’t stop her from following closely behind him, mooching food and drink, giving orders, and being picky about everything…

Li Yishan was no different.

Unlike Mr. Ma Dai and Shen Yan and the other scholars, this old man was even more shameless, trailing behind the little nun and nitpicking the academy’s meals, nearly offending everyone there.

A scholar and a nun—both leeching off He Chang’an.

“Chief He, why don’t we head back to the county? The academy’s food is dreadful,” Li Yishan urged again after dinner.

“Yishan, you!” Mr. Ma Dai glared fiercely, nearly ready to roll up his sleeves and start a fight.

“What do you mean, ‘you’? Ma Dai, your Weiyang Academy’s meals really are awful, not a drop of oil to be found,” Li Yishan said lazily, picking his teeth.

Damn it, a group of scholars, all to please that scoundrel He Chang’an, went hunting all over the hills and finally managed to catch three wild rabbits and a pheasant. He Chang’an only got a single roast rabbit leg…

That little nun could really eat!

Li Yishan wasn’t much better—he didn’t even use chopsticks, grabbing the meat with his hands; it was a disgrace to all scholars, utterly uncivilized.

“Li Yishan, just because you can recite a few doggerel poems doesn’t mean you can talk to your senior like this,” Mr. Ma Dai was barely holding himself together.

He was now a dignified sixth-rank scholar…

But seeing the subtle glances between He Chang’an and Li Yishan, hinting at something ambiguous, he relented.

Master Zhao Zheng had already scolded him through the minor Confucian art, ‘Miles from the Topic,’ instructing him to serve He Chang’an well, and wait for his own arrival to ‘examine’ matters.

‘Wait, Li Yishan and He Chang’an seem to be communicating silently?’

‘Hmph, mere parlor tricks—just a tacit connection, like selling thread-books outside a master’s door.’

So, Mr. Ma Dai quietly activated the Confucian minor art, ‘Hearts Aligned,’ and easily joined their ‘chat group’…

‘Li Yishan: So, kid from the He family, have you made up your mind? Give me a straight answer.’

‘He Chang’an: I don’t have any money, what am I supposed to do?’

‘Li Yishan: No money? No problem, I’ll take you to earn some. At least thirty taels in one night—how about it?’

‘He Chang’an: How could there be such a good deal? Are you trying to trick me again?’

‘Li Yishan: This time it’s real. I know all the girls at the Emerald Red House. Let’s go… Hey! Ma Dai, you shameless thing, what are you doing eavesdropping!’

‘Mr. Ma Dai: You two, shameless scoundrels, plotting to visit the brothels!’

‘Mr. Ma Dai: Speak up—what exactly do you want to do?’

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‘Mr. Ma Dai: Say something! Do you want me to treat you? I killed a nest of little demons recently and dug up a few hundred taels of silver, haha.’

‘Mr. Ma Dai: Hmm? The two scoundrels have gone silent? Say something!’

Damn, they actually quit the group…

…

Although He Chang’an and Li Yishan quietly left ‘Hearts Aligned,’ making him, the new head of Weiyang Academy, lose face, he’d gotten the key information—

He Chang’an was short on silver!

With direction and a goal, things were much easier.

So, he casually took out a storage pouch, drew out several fifty-tael ingots of official silver, and slid them towards He Chang’an, winking.

He Chang’an: ‘Hmm? You think you can buy me off with this little bit of silver? Am I the sort of man who succumbs to temptation?’

Li Yishan and the little nun: ‘Ah, silver!’

Immediately, three hands—two large, one small—flashed out, reaching swiftly for the silver ingots.

“Hold on!” Mr. Ma Dai’s expression darkened as he covered the silver with his hand and turned to He Chang’an. “Little brother, if you take the silver, you mustn’t run off with Yishan.

Your brother Yishan is talented and gifted in poetry, but he’s a notorious gambler and frequenter of brothels. Hmph, he’s utterly disgraced the face of scholars!”

‘Since time immemorial, talented men and beautiful women have been made for each other. This Yishan is a kindred spirit—must get closer to him in the future…’

“Headmaster, you’re mistaken. I, He Chang’an, never visit brothels… nor waste silver!” He Chang’an’s eyes burned with longing for the ingots, wishing he could just hold them for a moment…

Still, his face wore an innocent expression.

A gentleman values wealth, but acquires it righteously.

Yes, he should discuss things properly with Li Yishan. In this Great Tang, he must never become a slave to mortgage, car, or green tea (strike that)…

But with Mr. Ma Dai hovering close, never leaving his side, as if He Chang’an might run away, it wasn’t convenient to discuss important matters.

So, keeping his face calm, he pocketed the silver ingots, stretched, and yawned. “So tired—time to sleep.”

“Let’s all go together!”

Ma Dai, Li Yishan, and the little nun spoke in unison.

“Bah! A monastic, flouting the rules, bringing shame to womanhood—have you no shame?” Li Yishan, sharp-tongued as ever, unable to match Ma Dai in cursing, turned his venom on the little nun.

Li Yishan hesitated, then sighed quietly.

“You’re insulting me? Penniless scholar, try saying it again!” The little nun puffed out her chest, her cheeks flushed, two little dumplings bulging at the corners of her mouth.

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“Calling you ‘teacher’ is out of respect for the Sage’s legacy—don’t flatter yourself.

How does a monastic flout the rules? How does it shame womanhood? If I share a room with He Chang’an, does it mean there must be scandal?

Scholar, your heart is filthy.

That’s why your thoughts are filthy, and even those words of the sages you’ve studied for decades, those maxims of virtue, have become nothing but a cover for your shame!”

“What a sharp-tongued little nun! You—” Mr. Ma Dai, caught off guard, was outmatched, and the little nun’s tirade left his old face flushed.

“You what? For a sixth-rank scholar, you call your cursing ‘virtue and guidance,’ but when others answer back, it’s ‘sharp-tongued’? Mr. Ma Dai, not only are you thick-skinned, your learning isn’t much either. You’ve wasted the sages’ teachings—shame on you as a scholar…”

The little nun, emboldened, pressed her advantage—‘strike while the iron is hot’…

Even with the thickest skin, Mr. Ma Dai was furious at being berated by a nun, and snapped, “From now on, no women or petty people may speak here!”

Three rays of clear light shot out, instantly sealing the mouths of the three.

Li Yishan, He Chang’an, and the little nun’s faces turned red, but they truly couldn’t speak.

A sixth-rank scholar really had some skill.

But the key wasn’t the spell, but the phrase—‘no women or petty people may speak here’…

Mr. Ma Dai’s head ached.

Li Yishan was expected—everyone knew him as a talented, greedy, lecherous poet, a petty man; but He Chang’an, the little junior, so honest and simple—how could he be a petty man, a petty man, a petty man…?

“Little brother, I didn’t mean it,” Mr. Ma Dai chuckled awkwardly, rubbing his big hands. “I’ve heard that He Chang’an, quick-handed constable of Weiyang County, is nothing but a scoundrel, certainly not a petty man…

Ahem, no, little brother is just small, not a scoundrel…”

…

He Chang’an: ‘Can you even talk properly, damn it…’

Zhao Zheng: ‘Wretched disciple, you infuriate me!’

Du Shisan: ‘So this is that scoundrel He Chang’an? Not bad looking, and not a hypocrite…’

Wen Taiyuan: ‘Haha, a true petty man? I like it!’

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