Chapter 68: The Fountain of Wisdom

When the ogre poet Cassio finished the welcoming ode, half of the roast pig still remained in front of Shrek—a rare occurrence for an ogre renowned for his gluttony. Shaman was now certain that Shrek was truly troubled, so much so that even his appetite had waned.

Shrek grabbed his goblet and drained it in one gulp, his gaze meeting Shaman’s for the first time.

“Uninvited guest, state your origins.”

“I am Shaman, from the Hanging Grove north of the Yifen River. I come as a representative of the Conquest Order, and offer you our highest respect.” Shaman bowed slightly.

“I accept your respect, Shaman from the north. Now tell me why you and your army have come—are you friend or foe to Shrek?”

“Your Majesty, we have come, of course, to win your friendship,” Shaman replied calmly.

“To win Shrek’s friendship?” The ogre lord’s small eyes glinted sharply. “How do you intend to show your sincerity?”

“I bring you a plan for cooperation that will benefit us both, one that could help you extend your rule from Deepwood Vale to Powhatan Village.”

“Powhatan Village…” Shrek’s expression darkened. “Friend from the north, do you bear a grudge against the Algonquin tribe?”

Shaman nodded, feigning deep indignation. “Half a month ago, the Asa riders from Powhatan Village invaded our Order’s territory, causing destruction and slaughtering many innocent followers. I have crossed the river to seek vengeance on those despicable Asa brigands!”

“I am sorry for your Order’s misfortune,” Shrek replied. “However, the Algonquin tribe is not to be trifled with. Frankly, the half-man, half-tree monsters you’ve brought are no match for their fierce hunter-riders.”

“I completely agree, Your Majesty. That is why I hope you and your ogre warriors will fight beside us. Together, we can raze Powhatan Village and eradicate the Algonquins,” Shaman said, his words laced with cold bloodlust.

Shrek exchanged a glance with his court poet, then snorted through his nostrils.

“Mr. Shaman, my people have no quarrel with the Algonquins. Why should Shrek risk himself for you?”

“Of course, I would not ask you to fight for nothing.” Shaman drew a small pouch from his belt and spilled its contents onto the table. Dozens of brilliant gemstones tumbled out, sparkling like a dazzling waterfall.

The gems dazzled Shrek, who stared for a moment before stroking his thick chin and shaking his head.

“Beautiful as they are, these gems cannot cloud Shrek’s judgment. Compared to the consequences of turning against the Algonquins, this fee is far from enough.”

Shaman was surprised the ogre chief could resist the lure of gemstones. Fortunately, the gems were not his only bargaining chip.

“If that is not enough, what if I offer you information about the Fountain of Wisdom?” Shaman smiled.

“The Fountain of Wisdom?” Shrek looked up in astonishment, his voice trembling slightly with barely suppressed excitement. “You know where it is hidden?”

“I do not only know where to find the Fountain of Wisdom, Your Majesty; I also know that you are searching tirelessly for every magical relic to enhance your intellect. But I am truly curious: for an ogre, you are already very clever—why go to such lengths to become even smarter?” Shaman shifted the topic, both to whet Shrek’s appetite and to probe his motives.

Shaman’s question clearly struck a nerve. The mighty mythical ogre sighed and shook his head, the melancholy in his eyes deepening.

Cassio, the court poet, cast his lord a sympathetic glance, then rose with his lute in hand and said to Shaman, “Forcing a heartsick man to voice his sorrows is too cruel. Let me answer your question for our king through a newly composed ballad.”

He struck the strings and sang with deep feeling.

…

In the shadowed vales of the deepwood
Our beloved king is called Shrek
Upon the mountain’s lonely peak
My lovely elder sister is Fiona
Handsome Shrek fell for Fiona at first sight
But proud Fiona turned a cold shoulder to Shrek

…

Cassio’s ballad was not adorned with flowery language, but his voice was pleasant enough. Shaman soon realized this was a melodramatic tale of unrequited love.

Just as all the ogres in Deepwood Vale worshipped King Shrek, Shrek himself was passionately in love with Cassio’s sister—the high witch Fiona, who dwelled in seclusion atop the mountain. What followed was, perhaps, inevitable: Shrek, driven by love, climbed the heights to confess his feelings, but the proud and aloof witch could not be bothered even to hear him read his love letter, and instead set him a challenge.

Fiona’s challenge was neither a contest of arms nor a test of her magical prowess; she wished to see if Shrek was truly as clever as his people claimed. Cassio, who accompanied Shrek as a page and was Fiona’s brother, witnessed the entire battle of wits and now recounted it in song.

…

The great witch Fiona thus declared:
Shrek, son of Borlaur, hear me well
Three questions I have for you
A crucible to distinguish fool from sage
If you are as clever as Cassio claims
These three riddles should not trouble you

The noble Shrek did not shrink from challenge
He eagerly begged his beloved to pose her questions
Fiona smiled faintly
Her words brimmed with wisdom

Hear me, clever Shrek:

A rabbit runs ten times faster than a tortoise
If I let the tortoise set off ten feet ahead in a race
Tell me, can the rabbit catch up?

Hear me, clever Shrek:

I can foretell the future, but my predictions are wrong one time in twenty
If three times in a row I predict the sun will not rise again
Now tell me:
Will the sun rise tomorrow as usual?

Hear me, clever Shrek:

If I say I love you, then I am lying
If I admit I am lying,
Does that make me an honest person?

…

Three questions Fiona posed
Poor Shrek failed two
Inviting the lady’s scorn:

A man so dull as you
Knows not what true love is!
Until you become cleverer still
Speak no more of your feelings!

…

Poor Shrek, deeply wounded,
Left with a broken heart
Yet a true man never gives up

Shrek will one day return
With a sharper mind
To solve the three accursed riddles
To pass the witch Fiona’s test
And finally win the lady’s heart

After Cassio finished his lengthy ballad about Shrek’s pursuit of Fiona, Shaman was left speechless. Not only had Fiona’s questions stumped Shrek, but even Shaman himself could not answer them. They were riddles meant to doom the suitor; no wonder Shrek was so despondent.

Yet, Shrek’s efforts were not misguided. Unless he matched Fiona’s intellect, he could never hope to win her. From this perspective, Shaman could easily understand why Shrek was so desperate to find the Fountain of Wisdom.

“Friend from the north, you now know the king’s troubles. It is your turn to tell us the tale of the Fountain of Wisdom—do not disappoint His Majesty,” Cassio intoned, his fingers brushing the strings, his words mild yet subtly threatening.

“What I have to offer is not a story, but fact,” Shaman replied, pausing until both Cassio and Shrek fixed him with their full attention. “Have you ever heard the name ‘Irminsul’?”

“Of course,” Cassio answered in surprise. “That is the sacred tree guarded by the Algonquin tribe for generations. Legend says it grew from a seed that fell from the World Tree at the dawn of time. But what does that have to do with the Fountain of Wisdom?”

“Since you’ve mentioned the World Tree, and as a learned poet, I am sure you know the legends—that beneath its roots lie two enchanted springs: the Spring of Life, guarded by the three handmaidens of the Goddess of Fate, and the Spring of Wisdom, watched by a demigod giant named Mimir. Mimir’s Well, as it is called, bestows wisdom equal to the ancient prophets and sages on any mortal who drinks from it.”

Shaman’s vivid tale caught Shrek’s attention, and the ogre lord could not help but ask, “Are you saying that the legendary Mimir’s Well truly exists, and that it is closely tied to Irminsul, the descendant of the World Tree? That seems… almost incredible. It is, after all, just a myth.”

“Since there truly exists a mythical ogre in this world, why must the Fountain of Wisdom be mere legend?” Shaman’s sharp retort left Shrek speechless, then overjoyed.

“If what you say is true, tell Shrek—how can he obtain the Fountain of Wisdom?”

“It’s simple. Mimir’s Well is buried beneath the roots of Irminsul. Uproot that ancient tree, and you, Your Majesty, can drink from the Fountain of Wisdom and win Lady Fiona’s heart.”

Shaman’s words were laced with an allure Shrek could hardly resist, yet he maintained a shred of caution, glancing meaningfully at Cassio.

The court poet understood at once. He drew a small copper coin from his pocket and spun it rapidly between his fingers, chanting a spell under his breath. A wave of psychic magic radiated out, enveloping Shaman and Chaniquay.

Shaman instantly sensed an invisible probe reaching into his mind to search his thoughts—the work of Cassio’s magic. Though the intrusion angered Shaman, he quickly mastered his emotions. He could have resisted the spell, but in order to win the trust of the ogre lord and his jester, he lowered his mental defenses, allowing Cassio to read his true intentions.

After about a minute, Cassio ended his spell and whispered to Shrek, “Your guest is not lying—at least, he believes every word he says.”

Shaman smiled with confidence. He had dared to come to Deepwood Vale to negotiate with the ogre lord because he knew his information was genuine—both about Shrek and the Fountain of Wisdom. There was simply no need for deceit.

“Your Majesty, the Algonquins will never allow you to destroy their sacred tree. If you wish to drink from the Fountain of Wisdom, you must not refuse the friendship of the Conquest Order.”

“You are right, Mr. Shaman. You are now a friend of Shrek.”

“I am honored.”

Shaman shook the ogre lord’s broad hand with his uninjured right, and the two exchanged smiles, the atmosphere in the hall relaxed at last.

“The Algonquin tribe is not easily bested. Before launching an attack, we need a sound battle plan,” Cassio suggested—precisely what Shaman hoped for. He had, in fact, already devised a perfect strategy.

According to this plan, Shaman himself would lead the Withered Branch Legion to openly wreak havoc near Powhatan Village, destroying trees and drawing out the Algonquin main force in pursuit, thereby weakening the village’s defenses.

Meanwhile, Chaniquay, the Soulthief Sprite, would infiltrate the village, locate Irminsul, and use a scroll to signal Shrek’s forces hidden in the nearby forest, indicating where to strike.

Upon receiving the signal, Shrek would lead his ogre warriors in a surprise attack on Powhatan Village, eliminating the garrison and then destroying Irminsul to seize the Fountain of Wisdom.

“When the Algonquin chief learns the village has fallen, they’ll have no choice but to abandon their pursuit of the withered branch monsters and rush back to rescue Powhatan Village. At that moment, I’ll lead the Withered Branch Legion to join your ogre warriors in a pincer attack and utterly annihilate the Asa force!”

Shaman the Serpenthand clenched his fist savagely, as if the entire Algonquin tribe was already at his mercy, ready to be crushed in his grasp.