Chapter 51: How About You Sit Down When You Use the Bathroom from Now On?

That night, a trending topic erupted on Weibo, sending netizens into an uproar. Ranked first was the news that the Lion King’s comeback debut had reached a staggering 1.5 billion in sales within two hours, only for disaster to strike when he forgot to turn off his mic during the live broadcast. The conversation that was inadvertently broadcast completely shattered his public persona, resulting in a mass wave of order cancellations.

In less than five minutes, the KuaiShou platform issued an official announcement: the Lion King’s livestream room would be permanently banned, and he would be fined 250 million. This news brought immense satisfaction to the online community. Comments poured in: justice may be delayed, but it never fails to arrive.

People everywhere agreed that such a punishment was still too lenient for someone so unaware of his own limitations—deceiving viewers, even daring to block public roads. Calls for a complete internet-wide ban on him intensified.

The second most trending topic was also about the Lion King, though with a slightly sensational twist that netizens nonetheless delighted in. Eyewitnesses said the scene was unforgettable for a lifetime. Not only did the Lion King’s assistants and team members vomit on the spot, but even many viewers eating while watching the stream lost their meals.

Some speculated that the Lion King had staged the incident deliberately to grab attention. Whether this was true or not, perhaps not even Brother Wang knew—only the Lion King himself was sure.

In less than a day, clips from that infamous livestream were circulating everywhere. Some who watched were so nauseated they immediately forwarded the video to friends in a twisted bid to make them watch too—a truly unhinged act.

For the first time since Bai Qingming’s meteoric rise, the top two trending Weibo topics had nothing to do with him.

…

7 p.m.

Bai Qingming sat down at his computer and opened his livestream room. The moment his face appeared, his waiting fans flooded the chat with bullet comments.

“All rise to welcome our spiritual leader online!”

“Godfather of singles, what’s tonight’s stream about?”

“Any new songs tonight? Old ones are fine too if not.”

“Huh, why isn’t tonight’s stream in HD? The picture looks fuzzy.”

“Maybe you’ve been using your eyes too much, getting nearsighted?”

“Nonsense! I’m a top student, and my biology teacher once said your eyes and your… you-know-what aren’t connected. Overdoing it just makes your palms pregnant.”

“Well, I learned something new. Next time I’ll wear gloves.”

“Excuse me, are we in a biology class right now?”

“666, I thought no one would start with innuendo, turns out I’m just early.”

At first, everyone was enthusiastically greeting Bai Qingming. But somehow, the chat suddenly devolved into banter filled with double entendres.

Seeing this, Bai Qingming chuckled.

To be honest, he hadn’t planned any antics for tonight’s stream. Originally, Bai Qingming was a respectable gaming streamer. However, ever since he transmigrated, his streaming content shifted, and all sorts of wild antics ensued, leaving less time for actual gameplay.

The main issue was that whether before or after transmigration, Bai Qingming shared one trait: his gaming skills were mediocre at best.

Yet, Bai Qingming vaguely remembered that when his popularity had hit fifteen million, the system had rewarded him with a top-tier gaming talent.

Tonight, he planned to test it out and see if the reward was any good.

If it proved effective, his future streams would be even more entertaining.

With that, Bai Qingming logged into his own stubborn Bronze-ranked League of Legends account. To play it safe, he decided to test the waters with a low-ranking account first.

Just as he logged in—

Bang!

The bedroom door burst open, and Dazed Girl barged in.

“You jerk! Why can’t you remember to lift the toilet seat when you use the bathroom?”

She glared at Bai Qingming, visibly annoyed. Standing there, the viewers in the livestream could see both of them on screen at once.

Gossip is human nature, and the chat exploded with speculation.

“Damn, are these two actually together?”

“Isn’t it obvious? Last time our spiritual leader was mistaken for a pervert because he bought sanitary pads for the old lady.”

“Come on, are you just getting internet access in your village? They’ve been together for ages—their kid is practically on the way.”

…

Startled by her question, Bai Qingming was momentarily speechless.

“This is my house, isn’t it?”

His implication was clear: this is my home—why shouldn’t I leave the seat down?

But she pretended not to catch his meaning.

“So what if it’s your house? We live here together now. If you don’t lift the seat and make a mess, how am I supposed to use the bathroom?”

“My aim is good. I won’t make a mess.”

Bai Qingming answered mildly.

“That’s not good enough!”

She bristled.

“Fine, fine, I’ll lift it next time, okay?”

With so many people watching and the chat already inventing stories, Bai Qingming had no choice but to surrender.

“Not only do you have to lift the seat, you have to put it down after you’re done.”

She pressed on relentlessly.

“Why?”

Bai Qingming was bewildered.

Not only was he confused, but every male viewer in the chat was equally mystified.

“If you don’t put it down after, then I’ll have to use my foot to lower the seat every time before I go.”

“Why not use your hand?”

“If I use my hand, it’ll get dirty. Then I’d have to wash my hands before using the bathroom, and then again after—I’d be washing my hands twice every time. Isn’t that a hassle?”

She replied matter-of-factly.

Bai Qingming fell silent.

“If you’re that lazy, there’s another solution,” she continued. “Why don’t you just sit down when you use the bathroom from now on?”

Bai Qingming: “…”

The chat erupted in laughter.

“Our spiritual leader has been put in his place by the old lady.”

“She finally scored a win.”

“Wait, I have a question for everyone—don’t all guys sit to pee?”

“???”

“???”

“???”

…

Women are truly mysterious creatures. Though Bai Qingming never studied biology and never had an erudite biology teacher, he knew one thing: never try to reason with a woman.

Especially not during that time of the month.

After this minor episode, the old lady left, and Bai Qingming could finally resume his stream.

He went straight into ranked mode.

Soon, it was time to pick heroes.

Bai Qingming was the third pick in mid-lane. Yasuo had been banned by a teammate, so after a moment’s thought, he chose Zed, the Master of Shadows.

After all, with top-tier gaming talent, it didn’t matter what he played. Besides, Zed was flashy, and Bai Qingming especially loved his iconic line: “Invisible style is the deadliest of all.”

Now, it was the other players’ turn to pick. A seemingly ordinary game was about to begin.

…

Meanwhile.

On Tiger Sprout, in Vincent’s livestream room.

At this hour, At had just started his first ranked match of the day.

Those who knew him were aware that Vincent’s real name was Bao Fei. His Draven play was legendary, earning him the undisputed title of the number one Draven in the whole server.

He was notorious in the game for his ruthless style and love of fountain-diving—he’d often push right up to the enemy’s base and slaughter opponents so thoroughly they couldn’t leave their spawn.

Rumor had it that the Sword of the Occult was removed from the game because of him.

Today was his weekly stream where he rampaged in ranked matches, and his fans had been eagerly anticipating it.

Once matched, At entered champion select.

On the opposing side, third pick locked in Zed, the Master of Shadows.