Chapter Fifteen: Is Your Profession Respectable?
In the past, Bai Qingming often heard people say that the girls on companion gaming apps were all beautiful, had lovely voices, and were highly skilled at games. They called their customers “boss” with every other sentence, happily sent alluring photos, and even let their “boss” have the best moments in-game—so considerate. This was Bai Qingming’s first time using such an app.
To his surprise, registering was rather complicated. Logging in required filling out personal details, including an ID number and bank card information. He carefully chose his most handsome photo to upload. After completing the final step, Bai Qingming was stunned.
Damn it, how did he end up registering as a companion gamer himself?
…
After switching accounts and fiddling around for quite a while, Bai Qingming finally got it right. He opened the companion list and casually chose a female gamer with a pretty avatar. Order confirmed.
Waiting for the order to be accepted…
Meanwhile, on the other side, Douyu streamer Silly Meimei was preparing for one of her viewers’ favorite segments: pretending to be a companion gamer and teasing unsuspecting young men.
And so, Silly Meimei opened the companion gaming app. Although she mainly streamed battle royale games, she occasionally played League of Legends, so her companion gaming account was listed under both categories.
At that moment, the system notified her that someone had just placed an order—with her. The customer was none other than Bai Qingming.
Soon, they added each other as contacts.
“Can you hear me, little brother~?” As the voice chat connected, Silly Meimei greeted him in a soft, sweet voice, glancing at Bai Qingming’s profile.
Not bad—he was actually quite handsome.
“Yes, I can hear you.” Bai Qingming frowned slightly. This girl… why did she sound a bit too flirtatious?
“What should I call you, little brother?”
“Call me Bai, or Little Bai if you like.”
“Alright, Little Bai, just call me by my screen name, too.”
Looking at her username, Bai Qingming couldn’t help but pause.
“So you want me to call you ‘Wealthy Housewife’?”
At his words, the other side fell silent. Bai Qingming’s livestream chat exploded with question marks.
“What in the world is ‘Wealthy Housewife’?”
“Did the streamer really match with a rich old lady? She doesn’t sound like one!”
“When you’re young, you don’t know the value of a sugar mommy and mistake a girl for a treasure. Streamer, don’t let this chance slip by!”
After a moment, someone in Silly Meimei’s own chat put the pieces together.
“Silly Meimei’s username is ‘Wealthy Housewife’?”
“Hahaha, got it!”
“That old woman really knows how to have fun!”
At that moment, Silly Meimei felt nothing but embarrassment.
“Wealthy Housewife” was her QQ username—how could she have known he would actually say it out loud?
“I meant the name on my companion gaming profile. Just call me Vivi,” she replied.
From just a few lines, Silly Meimei could tell this customer was the straightforward, low emotional intelligence type. Teasing such customers was her specialty.
So, with her wealth of experience, Silly Meimei started making conversation.
“Little Bai, how old are you?”
“Eighteen,” Bai Qingming answered without thinking.
“Only eighteen? So young!” Silly Meimei exclaimed.
Only then did Bai Qingming realize. “Wait, you were asking about my age?”
Silly Meimei: “???”
In Bai Qingming’s livestream chat:
“Oh my god, streamer, you’re too good.”
“I don’t believe you’re eighteen centimeters unless you prove it on camera.”
“Excuse me, streamer, do you still need a girlfriend?”
Only then did Silly Meimei realize she’d been set up. Still, her chat full of thirsty fans loved this kind of banter.
Fortunately, the game had already started, and the champion selection phase prevented any awkward silences.
“Little Bai, which position do you want to play?”
“I want to play ADC. Which ADC is strong right now?” Bai Qingming asked.
Before crossing over, he used to play this game too. He wasn’t top tier, but certainly better than his current Silver-rank self in this world.
“I’ve heard Ashe is pretty strong,” Silly Meimei answered, making things up since she wasn’t very good herself. “I can play a support to help you—if you take Ashe, I’ll play the healer.”
Hearing this, Bai Qingming paused, then replied slowly, “Love!”
Silly Meimei was baffled.
What? Love whom?
But the viewers caught on quickly.
“Damn, just realized what he meant—what a sneaky move!”
“Do you love sucking my heals? Even this can be twisted?”
“As expected from the streamer—top awareness! The companion girl is stunned!”
“Everyone stand up and salute the streamer!”
Meanwhile, Silly Meimei’s chat also erupted with jokes.
“Haha, the old woman crashed and burned again!”
“This companion gamer is clearly a seasoned pro.”
“Give it up, old woman. With brains like yours, you can’t outwit him!”
With banter flying, champion selection finished and the game began. Silly Meimei took a deep breath, determined to regain control of the flow during the match.
As they laned together, Silly Meimei asked, “Little Bai, what do you do for a living?”
“Unemployed. No job at the moment,” Bai Qingming replied while last-hitting minions.
“Then can you guess what I do?” she teased.
“Aren’t you a companion gamer?”
“Nope, that’s just a side gig. I have a main profession—take a guess. If you get it right, I’ll give you a reward,” Silly Meimei answered, her tone uncharacteristically coy.
“Profession…” Bai Qingming mused, then asked seriously, “Is your main job an honest profession? And the reward, is it proper? If it’s not, I’m not guessing.”
Silly Meimei: “…”
His seemingly sincere questions made the viewers burst out laughing again.
“What an ‘honest profession’!”
“The streamer is way too cautious.”
“I’m still young. Can someone explain what’s an ‘improper profession’? Does working as a laborer count?”
“It does. Any job you have to wear clothes for is considered improper. Remember, always look for proper work.”
…
“I’m guessing you’re a model,” Bai Qingming ventured.
“Wrong.”
“A teacher?”
“Nope.”
“A doctor—definitely a doctor.”
“Still wrong.”
“Uh, are you sure… your job is proper?” Bai Qingming asked again.
“Forget it. I’ll just tell you—I’m a lawyer,” Silly Meimei finally admitted, exasperated.
“A lawyer?” Bai Qingming’s eyes lit up.
It was time to show his true skills.
“Can I ask you a few questions?”
“Go ahead,” Silly Meimei replied, unaware of what was about to come.
Bai Qingming nodded and began to ask the questions that had long puzzled him.
“If a pregnant woman beats someone up, is it considered a group fight?”
“If I get my best friend drunk and feed them poop, is that illegal?”
“If I’m a police officer and punch myself, does that count as assaulting a police officer?”
“If I have a hundred thousand loyal followers and have each of them borrow from every online loan platform and then default, what would happen?”
…