Volume One, Chapter Four: Shattered First Love

Fu Xiaoya would not believe a word of it. She rose with determination and stumbled out of the house.

At that moment, a light drizzle was falling outside, and the sky was dull and devoid of light. Fu Xiaoya vanished into the pattering rain, alone, without even looking back. My mood hit rock bottom. I stood at the doorway for a long time, an urge to cry welling up inside me. Remembering the look of sheer hatred in her eyes just moments ago, I couldn't help but shiver in the cold wind.

...

Fu Xiaoya never returned home. She did not leave the city, however; instead, she took a job at a karaoke bar. She dressed more provocatively, and the circle of hoodlums around her grew. My father and Xu Li both went to look for her, trying to persuade her to come back. Xu Li compromised, apologizing, pleading, slapping herself in the face, and even... kneeling. But Fu Xiaoya, rebellious by nature, made a scene and adamantly refused to return home.

She was an adult! She had the right to make her own choices. With her parents' efforts proving futile, they had no choice but to let her be. I desperately wanted to find Fu Xiaoya and explain that I wasn't the one who had told on her, but I lacked the courage. The karaoke bar was a place of mixed company, crawling with various local thugs. I was afraid of getting beaten up if I went there, and I was also afraid of getting lost in that world.

Without Fu Xiaoya, the house felt even more stifling. Feeling the pressures of life, my parents spoke less and less to each other and grew indifferent toward me. The atmosphere was suffocating; I longed to escape. Sometimes, I would miss Fu Xiaoya. I missed her smile, her voice, and the way she would put her hands on her hips in that arrogant manner of hers. I thought of her holding me tightly from behind, and of me wrapping my arms around her waist. I would even enter her room, staring at the bed she used to sleep in, opening her wardrobe to look at the clothes she had left behind, feeling a stinging ache in my eyes.

Every time this happened, I would curse myself for being pathetic. She wasn't my biological sister, after all. She was just a passerby in my life, a girl who had once bullied me with impunity. I didn't want to go home, so after school, I would linger until the lights were about to go out before dragging my feet away.

Until the day a girl walked up to me. Her name was Yu Qingman. She was my classmate and a top student. She was just over 1.6 meters tall—not particularly tall, but beautiful, with clear eyes, fair skin, and a head of sleek, black, straight hair that always looked neat and tidy. Many boys liked her, and some had even slipped her love letters, but I had never heard of her dating anyone.

At that moment, Yu Qingman sat across from me, the corners of her mouth curling into a faint, charming smile. "Zhou Yan, which university are you planning to apply to?"

I shook my head gently. "I haven't decided yet."

"Let's apply to Pingchuan University together!" Yu Qingman suggested, her eyes curving into crescents. "That way, we can look out for each other and won't be lonely in a strange place."

I was stunned; my heart suddenly began to race, and my face flushed red.

Was she confessing to me? Could a boy as insecure and introverted as I am be liked by a girl? Seeing my dazed expression, Yu Qingman’s smile deepened. She gently brushed a stray lock of hair from her cheek and asked, "Zhou Yan, do you remember that PE class in our second year of high school?"

I nodded vigorously. Of course, I remembered. That day, Yu Qingman had been wearing white track pants, and a red stain had appeared on the back—her period had started unexpectedly. Not wanting her to be mocked by the other students, I immediately took off my shirt and handed it to her to cover herself, leaving me with only a tank top. She had blushed in embarrassment, stammered a thank you, and hurried away.

"Since then, I’ve felt that you were a good person—kind, handsome, and gentlemanly. I’ve often fantasized about going far away with you. But sometimes, you are as quiet as a tree, making people want to explore the secrets hidden within you."

Yu Qingman's soft voice fell like gentle rain upon my heart. The tender shoots of love began to break through the soil.

"Actually, I'm just as ordinary as a blade of grass," I mumbled.

"Hello, school heartthrob!" Yu Qingman beamed, extending her fair, delicate hand toward me.

My fingers trembled slightly as I curled them, but I bravely reached out and shook her hand gently. A sense of softness and warmth passed through, warming my cold heart. It took me a long time before I could bear to let go.

"Can you walk me home?" Yu Qingman tilted her head and asked with a smile.

"Okay!" I jumped to my feet.

That evening, the breeze was light and the moonlight soft, with the streetlights flickering in the distance. We walked side by side down the street, our shadows stretching long behind us, merging and separating in turn.

Yu Qingman's family background was very ordinary. Both her parents were employees at a state-run factory, and they lived in a two-bedroom apartment on the sixth floor of an old residential complex. She laughed, saying that having to climb the stairs every time she went home kept her in good shape. She was their only daughter, and her parents were as loving as ever, caring for her meticulously.

My family was better off than hers; I had lived in a small villa since I was a child. But my family, torn apart by divorce and then reorganized, was already riddled with holes and chaos; I could no longer feel the warmth of family affection. Because of this, I envied Yu Qingman. Her home was small, yet filled with warmth—a place where one could sleep soundly, unafraid of the wind and rain.

A harsh sound of motorcycles reached us from behind. I looked back to see two stylish, powerful motorcycles roaring toward us, carrying four people. There were three hoodlums and a girl with long, wavy hair. The hoodlums were all wearing flashy short-sleeved shirts, sporting messy hair, and some were wearing large hoop earrings. As for the girl, I recognized her instantly—it was Fu Xiaoya.

She was wearing a short leather jacket and leather pants, her eyelids heavy with dark eyeshadow, her lips a striking, fiery red. On her collarbone, where her neckline dipped, was a tattoo of a blooming rose.

Fu Xiaoya saw me, and her eyes lit up immediately, as if she had discovered prey. A sense of foreboding rose within me, and I hurriedly pulled Yu Qingman to the side of the road. As expected, the two motorcycles swerved and screeched to a halt, blocking our path. The four of them jumped off, swaggering over to surround us, all of them shaking their legs and smirking with malicious intent.

Yu Qingman was terrified, clutching the hem of my shirt tightly from behind. I comforted her, telling her not to be afraid, even though my own legs were trembling.

One hoodlum, his hair dyed a "granny grey," lit a cigarette and blew the smoke directly into my face. He turned his head toward Fu Xiaoya with a lecherous grin. "Xiaoya, isn't this your loser of a brother? Holy crap, look at the fish jumping out of the frying pan—he's actually managed to pick up such a pretty chick."

"Brother Zhuang, you're the expert when it comes to picking up chicks; you're the best at crushing flowers," another hoodlum laughed, flattering him.

"Right, this girl should belong to Brother Zhuang. Let us brothers check first to see if she's pure or not." As the hoodlum spoke, he reached out to grope Yu Qingman.

I hurriedly moved my body, my eyes turning red, and shielded Yu Qingman behind me with everything I had.

"Drag my dear brother to the side; I'll deal with this little slut myself," Fu Xiaoya commanded loudly, her tone that of a gang leader.

"Sister..." I managed to utter a single word before the three hoodlums grabbed my arms and collar, dragging me aside. No matter how I struggled, I couldn't break free.

*Slap!*

Fu Xiaoya raised her hand and struck Yu Qingman with a resounding slap, causing blood to trickle from the corner of her mouth and forcing her to burst into tears.

"You little bitch, how dare you seduce my brother? Look at yourself—you're nothing but trash. Learn your lesson today: stay away from my brother, or I'll beat you every time I see you!" Fu Xiaoya cursed, raining down more slaps.

Yu Qingman clutched her face in pain, her body convulsing as she crouched down. I felt those slaps a hundred times—no, a thousand times—more painfully than if they had hit my own face. My heart ached so much I couldn't breathe, and my fury burned so intensely it scorched my eyes.

Fu Xiaoya was picking a fight on purpose. She was destroying my beautiful first love. I hated her! This hatred would be etched into my bones.

"Fu Xiaoya, don't hit her! Come hit me instead! If you have the guts, just kill me!" I roared in anger, finally breaking free from their grip and rushing forward. But Brother Zhuang kicked me in the back, and I stumbled, falling flat onto the ground.

"Get lost!" Fu Xiaoya said coldly. Yu Qingman scrambled to her feet and ran away, sobbing.

Fu Xiaoya’s high heels clicked against the pavement as she walked slowly toward me. She crossed her arms and looked down at me from above.

"Studying hard is your only way out."

Fu Xiaoya sounded as if she were giving sincere advice, but to me, it felt like nothing more than posturing. By now, I had no reason left. I gritted my teeth and cursed, "Go to hell! You're not my sister; you're just a slut who sells herself to everyone."