Chapter 20: The Sorting Hat: My Struggles Are Real
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When Sherlock was seen holding the Sorting Hat in his hands, gently stroking it instead of wearing it, not only Professor McGonagall but even Dumbledore grew curious. He leaned slightly forward, narrowing his eyes to watch Sherlock closely, but said nothing to stop him.
Fortunately, Sherlock’s examination did not last long; soon enough, he snapped the hat onto his head with a sharp sound.
From its appearance alone, the hat was evidently ancient—covered in grime, greasy and stained, exuding a strong scent of scalp oil… Sherlock, who considered himself rather untidy, was surprised to find that wizards took even less care in hygiene.
And, um, the previous wearer was the son of a baker…
As Sherlock pondered this, a faint voice whispered in his ear:
“Oh, I’m sorry if I seem unclean, but I’m just a hat—I can’t clean myself… But how did you know the last child was a baker’s son?”
Sherlock was first taken aback, then his eyes lit up: “Interesting! You can read people’s thoughts?”
His own thoughts had been captured by a mere hat; truly, the magical world was wondrous!
“No, no, no, only some superficial thoughts, and only if you don’t deliberately hide them—I’m not a dark magical artifact; I don’t have Legilimency powers,” the hat explained before continuing, “So… can you answer my question now?”
Sensing the hat’s persistence, and intrigued by it, Sherlock indulged it:
“Simple deduction. Your brim is stuck with bits of tin foil and white flour residue, and there’s a wheat scent that masks the scalp oil smell—of course, the previous boy’s mannerisms already hinted at his background; these were just confirmations.”
“Fascinating! Brilliant! Unparalleled wisdom, admirable courage, a truly kind heart, and a rebellious spirit—so difficult, so difficult! Disdain authority, challenge rules… you will achieve greatness. At a thought from you, Slytherin will guide you to glory, no doubt.
Wise and erudite, passionate about inquiry, with an insatiable thirst for the unknown—excellent! Ravenclaw will sharpen your insightful eyes and agile mind even further.
Your wish is to punish evil and uphold justice? Oh my, what a pity; if Madam Hufflepuff were still here, she’d adore you!
But your unyielding courage is captivating. If I don’t place you in Gryffindor, Professor McGonagall will surely kill me…
I’m in such a dilemma!”
“…” Sherlock, sensing the Sorting Hat’s indecision, calmly said, “Regarding that, I think courage is just the best substitute for foolishness.”
And so, Sherlock began a warm and friendly conversation with the hat.
The Hogwarts Great Hall fell silent during the Sorting Ceremony.
Is it really… that difficult?
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The previous girl had held out for a long time, yet this boy lasted even longer?
Noticing Sherlock’s slender aquiline nose, many upperclasswomen quietly took note of his name:
Sherlock Holmes.
Outside, the murmurs grew louder, but Sherlock remained oblivious.
Even if he knew, he wouldn’t care.
At that moment, he was enjoying his chat with the hat:
“What? I can tell you’re not lacking in courage. Fearless courage can make you a hero…”
“Don’t turn people into heroes. Heroes don’t exist, and even if they did, I’m not one of them.”
“B-but…”
“Emotionalism is the physiological defect of losers; wisdom is the new sexy trend.”
“…”
The Sorting Hat was greatly troubled.
Because this young wizard embodied traits from all four houses, theoretically it was fitting to place him in any.
But as their conversation deepened, the hat formed a clear preference.
The main choice was between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw.
The hat had initially planned to place him in Ravenclaw.
After all, even Sherlock himself had said that wisdom was the new sexy trend.
However.
Before making a decision, the hat keenly noticed a problem.
It found that Sherlock only learned and sought knowledge that was useful to him.
This differed from Ravenclaw’s hallmark trait.
For others, this might be trivial.
But for Sherlock, it was decisive.
He treated knowledge as a tool—learning what was useful, ignoring what was not—not like a true Ravenclaw, driven purely by an intense thirst for knowledge.
Instead, his courage was impeccable—he had a strong desire for adventure and a heart brave enough to overcome all obstacles.
Even though Sherlock said courage was just a euphemism for foolishness.
For him, it was not a problem.
Because he was truly brave.
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Ravenclaw’s little eagles spent their time studying knowledge, with no time to accompany him on explorations.
Gryffindor was different—young lions eager to team up with him.
Finally, when Sherlock learned from the hat that Ravenclaw had many “knowledge repository” types, his eyes lit up.
Excellent!
That way, when he needed information, he could ask them directly instead of wasting time learning himself.
He could free up more time for exploration.
After much deliberation, the hat respected Sherlock’s own wishes and made its final decision.
“Gryffindor!”
Sherlock removed the hat, bid it farewell, and walked over to the Gryffindor table.
“Congratulations!”
Hermione, delighted to see someone she knew sorted to her house, was naturally very happy.
She was about to say something when Ron’s two elder brothers, the Weasley twins, pushed their way over.
“We were just saying how Granger almost became a Hatstall, but the real Hatstall has arrived!”
“Hatstall? What’s that?”
Hearing the new term, Sherlock’s interest was piqued.
“It means the hat was very conflicted.”
“Because it didn’t know which house to put you in.”
“Both of you shut up!” Percy Weasley, the Gryffindor prefect and the twins’ older brother, rubbed his temples and said wearily:
“They’re known troublemakers throughout Hogwarts. Holmes, don’t listen to their nonsense.”
Before school started, Percy had bought a book in Diagon Alley called How Prefects Gain Authority.
It said prefects must maintain the good image of the house before new students.
So he couldn’t let the twins lead the newcomers astray—even if they were his brothers!
Then he explained the official definition of a Hatstall to Sherlock and introduced himself.