Chapter 6: Picking Up a Wife?

"Brother Chili!"
Li Changlu called out to the departing Chili Monster.

"What do you want?"
The Chili Monster, still gripping the stunned Snake Demoness Xiaoqing, turned back with wide eyes to ask Li Changlu.

Li Changlu beamed, his face full of admiration as he replied, "Brother Chili, your outfit paired with that necklace is just outrageously cool! And your muscles are so sharply defined—I'm a man myself, but I'm almost infatuated with you."

"Idol, can you tell me your name?"

The Chili Monster had thought he was mocking this kid in front of him.
He was ready to get angry.
He was about to leap out and fight him.
A duel.
Then he’d properly deal with this creature whose demon power was only at one.
Play the perfect tough guy one more time.

But to his surprise, the person in front of him was actually a little fan, looking at him with a gentle, admiring smile.

He let down his guard, stroked his tangled beard, and with a proud flourish said to Li Changlu, "Hey, young man, you've got good taste, but one must be humble. Especially me, the Nicholas Chili of the luminous night—I shine silently in the darkness, never revealing my name."

"Don't fall for me, study hard, and strive for self-improvement every day."

With that, he turned gracefully, ready to leave again.

"Alright, got it, bro!"

Li Changlu watched the Chili Monster leave with shining eyes, full of awe, then happily picked up the wooden stick on the ground.

With just one swing.

The Chili Monster collapsed in a heap, out cold, still wearing a proud smile on his face.

Li Changlu could hardly believe it—was this guy really so fragile?

He gave him a few more hard whacks for good measure.

The Chili Monster’s muscular body didn’t react at all.

He was truly unconscious, though that proud smile still lingered on his face.

"Pfft, Nicholas Chili, huh?"

"You don't even have a green hat, how could you possibly be worthy of the surname of my idol, the King of Asian Dance?"

He gave the Chili Monster lying on the ground another kick, then—

Bent over and, as naturally as breathing, tore off the gold necklace from the Chili Monster's neck and slipped it into his own bag.

Smooth, practiced, not the least bit awkward.

On the side, the Snake Demoness Xiaoqing was genuinely stunned. If she had to use one word to describe this rather handsome man before her—

Perhaps... only "despicable" would suffice.

"What are you staring at? Come help already!"

Li Changlu struggled to drag the Chili Monster, trying to stuff him into the corner under the stairwell.

But the guy was just too brawny.

He couldn’t budge him...

Exhausted...

His whole body was burning up...

And yet, inexplicably excited...

Why the hell am I excited?

This feeling...

It was exactly the same as when the Poop Monster groped his chest.

A strange, inexplicable exhilaration...

But however exhilarated, he still couldn’t move him.

Sweat was pouring down in torrents.

Xiaoqing finally came to her senses and hurried over to help.

"You grab his arms, I’ll take his legs, let’s move him over there bit by bit," Li Changlu said, pointing to the corner where Xiaoqing had just hidden. "Right there."

He didn’t really expect Xiaoqing to be much help—just an extra set of hands to lighten the load.

Xiaoqing responded with an "okay."

Then she stepped over, and with one slender hand, she simply hoisted the Chili Monster up, slung him over her shoulder, and chucked him into the corner like she was tossing a pillow.

With a thundering crash.

Li Changlu was dumbfounded—this girl was... just too adorable.

"With strength like yours, what were you even afraid of? Were you just acting earlier?"

Xiaoqing looked equally puzzled. "He was pretty powerful before, but now it’s like he has no demon power left."

"Is he dead?" Li Changlu asked nervously.

"No, just no demon power left. He’s like a chili with only the skin remaining."

As long as he wasn’t dead.

Li Changlu didn’t bother to care about the Chili Monster’s exact condition—he just wanted to leave as soon as possible.

He said to Xiaoqing, "Let’s go, let’s go—Chili Monster accidentally knocked himself out on a stick, and we’re just letting him rest in a quiet corner. You haven’t seen anything; I’ve never met you."

As he spoke, his phone rang.

It was Blackie calling.

"Li, you shameless scoundrel, where the hell have you run off to?"

"Oh, just rescued a chili, nearly died from exhaustion."

"Get over to the mission board, the tasks have been posted."

Beep, beep, beep...

Li Changlu hung up and leisurely made his way downstairs along the corridor.

Sure enough, in front of the mission board, a crowd of monsters had gathered, all studying the board intently as if they were examinees searching for their names on a results list.

Focused and full of anticipation.

Within the crowd, Li Changlu spotted Blackie. He felt a little embarrassed—he hadn’t expected Miss Ming Shirt to be so ruthless.

She’d beaten a foreign black monster...

...until he turned pale.

The more Li Changlu looked, the guiltier he felt. The more he looked, the more ashamed he became; the more he looked, the less he could hold back a laugh.

But Blackie shook his head, jumped a bit, and turned black again.

A white cloud fell to the ground.

Turns out, Blackie had been covered all over with flour.

"I was chased into the kitchen, rolled myself in a vat of flour, and barely escaped with my rat’s life. Li, you son of a dog, I almost ended up bowing to that woman—with all five limbs—dead on the spot."

Li Changlu grinned, but the left side of his face hurt, so he endured it.

"Li, why do you keep covering your face?"

Blackie pointed in confusion at the girl behind Li Changlu. "And this lovely young lady—do you know each other?"

Lovely young lady?

Li Changlu quickly turned around.

A sweet girl with white irises was standing behind him, staring.

"I’m his wife!"
The girl laughed heartily.

Li Changlu and Blackie were both stunned.

A wife for free—a pretty, adorable wife.

Should he take her or not?

Take her, obviously.

Take her, my foot—she’s a snake demon, a cute girl who can single-handedly hoist a hulking man in tights.

No way. Absolutely not.

"Li, you can’t do such shameless things," was Blackie’s first reaction, thinking Li Changlu, that despicable demon, had tricked the girl.

Li Changlu pulled Xiaoqing into his arms, grinning as he whispered, "What are you up to?"

Xiaoqing gently pushed him away. "Give me your little knife."

"Why should I?"

"Husband, you’re so naughty..."

For a man, nothing is more deadly than that. Even one as self-proclaimed impervious as Li Changlu couldn’t resist—his bones nearly melted.

"You two are really a pair—the wolf and the cat," Blackie, the foreign monster, was force-fed a mouthful of dog food, but showed no jealousy. Instead, he clapped and praised, "A blissful couple—enough to make the immortals blush."

"Perfectly matched? The envy of all?" Li Changlu could only guess at Blackie’s idioms.

He wrapped his arm around Xiaoqing again, grinning mischievously, "Aren’t you my wife?"

He puckered his lips, about to kiss Xiaoqing.

But Xiaoqing shot him a deadly glare, and Li Changlu quickly shut his mouth. He touched his swollen cheek, then—

Learning from Xiaoqing’s playfulness, he said sweetly, "Wife, you’re so naughty."

...

But at that moment, a group of monsters gathered around the mission board encircled the three of them.