Chapter 27: Take a Picture for Me
After Li Changluo finished speaking, the green liquid in the bottle he held was already half full.
So it seems...
The way to trigger an increase in this liquid really is by telling the truth.
Damn, this is tough.
In the bar, a group of monsters surrounded Li Changluo, watching him muttering to himself at the others. They all sighed.
He’s gone mad before the fight even started? Monsters these days are too fragile...
Li Changluo, expressionless as a schoolchild reciting his textbook, stared at the Guitar Monster and said mechanically, “You’re just a guitar carrying someone on your back. Are you lonely? If you’re lonely, go home, don’t come here to torment our ears. You sound awful.”
The Guitar Monster was dumbfounded.
“And you lot, each of you look so bizarre, straight out of a cartoon, right? Wearing underpants on a bottle? Doesn’t that chafe?”
Li Changluo pointed at the group of monsters, delivering his true thoughts as if reading from a script.
Yet, the green liquid in the bottle still wasn’t quite full.
There were no more monsters left for him to tell the truth to.
“Hey, brat, what’s with all your mumbling? What are you doing?” The Toilet Paper Monster had planned to end the fight quickly, to finish off these two unlucky bastards and call it a day. But Li Changluo’s odd behavior left him at a loss.
“What do you think I’m doing? I’m telling you guys the truth. Once the liquid in my bottle is full, I’ll unleash my ultimate move.”
Li Changluo, pushed to the edge, found telling the truth incredibly hard.
Mom, I want to lie, I really do.
...
But just then, the surrounding monsters burst into laughter at his words.
“Hahaha, my stomach hurts from laughing.”
“Haha, where’d you get a stomach, Bottle Monster?”
“Haha, it’s a beer belly, duh.”
“Haha, you’re spraying everywhere while you laugh.”
“Haha, you sprayed me, dammit...”
...
Li Changluo was helpless. What’s wrong with this world? No one believes the truth anymore?
He glanced at the bottle in his hand. The green liquid was now full, shimmering with tiny lights, just like when he first found it.
Go ahead and laugh—let’s see who laughs last.
Li Changluo realized the Bottle Monster’s anesthetic wasn’t all that strong; his hand could now move a little.
Qing was already able to stand up.
Gritting his teeth, Li Changluo raised the round glass bottle high.
Last time, he’d forced the Pill Monster to kneel in just this way.
He wondered if he should shout something cool, a catchphrase to show off his power.
Maybe... something like “Bahaha”?
But before he could think of anything, he noticed all the monsters in the bar had stopped laughing.
First was the Toilet Paper Monster, who suddenly darted anxiously toward the restroom.
“Boss, what are you doing?”
“No idea, I just really need to...”
“Need to what?”
“Kids shouldn’t ask.”
...
Next was the Guitar Monster, who suddenly stood on the stage, carrying someone on his back, and began to strum and sing passionately.
“Daddy, can you sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?”
...
The Bottle Monsters, before they could react, found themselves crashing into each other uncontrollably.
Pairs of them collided.
The bar was immediately filled with the chaotic clatter of smashing bottles.
“Damn, what are you doing?”
“No clue, just felt like smashing into you.”
“Cut it out.”
“You cut it out—one more hit and I’ll shatter.”
“Wishing you peace every year.”
Li Changluo saw the green liquid in his bottle slowly diminishing—it must be draining as he controlled more and more of them.
But compared to the fox demon, who could control time and others’ minds, he could only command bodies, which was far less impressive.
Yet Li Changluo found this much more amusing...
Watching people do foolish things, unable to stop themselves.
How cruel...
But this was a double-edged sword—if their minds were controlled, they’d only be dazed for a while when they woke up. The way Li Changluo was doing it, though, was playing with fire—these monsters would surely want to skin him alive once they regained control.
The Toilet Paper Monster was still rushing between the hall and the restroom, the roll on his head growing ever smaller, his face growing paler and more haggard.
“Does he have diarrhea?” Qing asked curiously.
“He saw you...”
“And threw up.”
Li Changluo answered meaningfully.
Smack!
Li Changluo took a slap from Qing, who was clearly fine now.
He tried standing up himself, stepping onto a chair, then climbing onto a table. Striking a pose he thought was incredibly cool, he raised the glass orb high—just like that scene from The Lion King.
“Take a picture for me,” he said to Qing.
Li Changluo was feeling a bit inflated at this point.
Let’s see who dares laugh at me now.
I just wiped out a whole bunch of losers in a second.
This was my special move.
I’m amazing.
But then...
Qing smoothed her hair, grabbed the stool in her hand, and struck Li Changluo squarely with it.
He wobbled but managed to stay standing, not falling or embarrassing himself.
He stared at Qing, stunned. “What are you doing?”
“You told me to hit you.”
“I meant take a picture, not hit me...”
But before he could finish, Qing, very seriously, raised the stool and thumped him again.
Li Changluo let out a miserable cry and tumbled off the table.
“Ah, finally got it,” Qing said, flexing her wrist and breathing a sigh of relief.
I’ve finally done as you asked.
Hitting people is exhausting.
So strange.
Why do you like being hit?
All the monsters in the room were dumbstruck. Wasn’t this the legendary...
Idiot teammate?!
Terrifying. Absolutely terrifying.
Li Changluo clutched his waist, painfully climbing to his feet, utterly despondent.
Why did I eat so much, just to follow you and suffer?
Wouldn’t it have been better to study languages with Blackie?
But then he noticed the green liquid in the bottle was nearly gone.
Meaning, his control was about to end.
The monsters in the bar would soon awaken.
“Let’s go—they’re about to go berserk.” Clutching his waist, Li Changluo didn’t have time to blame Qing. He urged her to leave quickly.
“No, we haven’t found Fatty yet. I’m not leaving.”
Qing refused to budge.
Li Changluo hesitated, then gritted his teeth and said, “I know where Fatty is.”
A cold feeling washed over him—the liquid in the glass bottle increased a little.
Qing looked at him in surprise.
Li Changluo avoided her gaze, then pointed at the monsters still frozen under his control. “Do you trust them or me?”
“You.”
Without hesitation, Qing scooped up the Bonfire Skillbook from the ground and hugged it to her chest.
Li Changluo led Qing out of the bar and caught a cab back to the tavern.
After all...
That was the only safe place.
He wondered how Blackie was doing with his language lessons?