Chapter 25: Transformation Approaches

The man before him looked just as he remembered—pale, wan, dark circles under his eyes. Nothing had changed.

Except… there was a roll of toilet paper wrapped around his head.

Toilet paper monster?

Could someone really die from playing with toilet paper?

Was there such a way to go?

How bored would you have to be?

The world was vast.

Li Changluo was still too young.

No matter how hard he thought, he simply couldn’t figure out how this toilet paper monster had died.

But right now, the more pressing issue wasn’t the bizarre causes of death of these monsters.

No, the real problem was that his attempt to show off had failed. He’d assumed that, in a bar with at least some people present, even if this man was a monster, he wouldn’t dare be too brazen.

Besides, Xiaoqing, the girl with monstrous strength, was no pushover herself.

A little bravado to win Xiaoqing’s favor—what harm could it do?

This was supposed to be a safe bet.

But who would have thought the entire bar was filled with monsters.

Playing with a lollipop? Try showing off now.

Can you keep up the act?

Li Changluo wanted nothing more than to slap himself.

And in this remote place, in the dead of night, even if someone passed by the bar, if he cried for help, people would just think he was drunk and making a scene.

“Maybe…” he whispered, “I’ll just leave first?”

Li Changluo edged slowly behind Xiaoqing.

“Oh, okay,” Xiaoqing replied readily.

After all, in her eyes, Li Changluo’s existence was probably as substantial as one plus one equaling zero.

Li Changluo grinned and greeted the monsters around him, “Every meeting ends in parting; the time has come to say goodbye. Take care, everyone.”

With that, he turned and strode hurriedly toward the exit, as if his life depended on it.

But the moment he moved, a flurry of snowy white toilet paper fluttered before his eyes, accompanied by an overwhelming stench of the sea—so strong it nearly made him gag.

That smell was all too familiar to Li Changluo. It was exactly like the sack he carried in his crotch.

Next thing he knew, his head was being wrapped tightly in those strips of toilet paper.

He tried to tear them off, but the more he pulled, the more they tangled around him.

Soon his entire head was cocooned, and every breath drew in the briny, rotten stench of the ocean, making him choke and hold his breath.

He couldn’t see a thing, couldn’t call for help.

Was Xiaoqing really just going to stand by and watch him suffocate to death under toilet paper?

Was this really how he would die—a literal suffocation?

And the smell of the paper was just so…

No, this couldn’t be right.

Such a humiliating way to go.

At that moment, Li Changluo suddenly felt a pair of hands on his head.

He was overjoyed—it had to be his wife.

It was Xiaoqing.

She was trying to rip the toilet paper off his head.

Except…

She might have used a bit too much force.

The paper came off, but Li Changluo’s whole body was yanked upward, slamming into the bar’s ceiling, his head wedged into the panels above.

A grown man, seven feet tall, hung from the ceiling, swaying back and forth.

The scene couldn’t have been more awkward.

Xiaoqing, mortified, grabbed his ankles, trying to pull him back down.

But again… she might have overdone it.

Li Changluo’s pants came off completely—leaving him in nothing but a pair of floral boxers.

“Sorry! I’ll get you down right away!” Xiaoqing panicked, tossing the pants aside and hurrying to free him.

“No, please—I beg you, just leave me here in peace,” Li Changluo pleaded, his voice buzzing from inside the ceiling, filled with despair.

But Xiaoqing didn’t get another chance to save him. The rest of the monsters in the bar had already surrounded her.

A fierce battle erupted in the bar.

Xiaoqing kept hammering at the bottle monsters’ necks, trying to knock them unconscious.

The bottle monsters fought back, spraying liquor from their heads at her.

The bar descended into chaos—liquor flying, tables and chairs exploding, the air thick with the smell of alcohol.

Demons and gods alike were showing off their powers—everyone was putting on a show.

Except for Li Changluo, who was left shivering.

In the freezing bar, a man in his underwear hung from the ceiling, trembling uncontrollably.

He didn’t want to move a muscle.

He just wanted a cigarette.

He wanted to vent his grievances…

What kind of madness was this?

Was she a snake spirit, with strength like that?

Or was she some snake-tamer from a past life?

What kind of death had she met to end up so powerful?

Of all things, why not play with snakes?

And who on earth was playing music now?

“Walking in the Cold Wind”? Did monsters have no sense of sympathy?

But hanging there was simply too humiliating.

He slid his hands between his neck and the ceiling panels, slowly prying open a gap, and finally tumbled down.

The battle raged on—liquor splattered everywhere, furniture shattered, the bar a ruin of strong drink and debris.

Xiaoqing had revealed her true form—a massive white python.

This was the first time Li Changluo had seen her real body.

Not cute at all.

But he wasn’t in the mood to admire this majestic creature.

He urgently searched for his pants.

That was the most important thing.

His pants were draped over a toppled sofa, right before his eyes. Li Changluo reached for them, but suddenly found his body immobilized.

The sound of guitar strings being plucked filled the bar.

The guitar monster, his back turned, stood on the stage and began to play and sing.

The white python Xiaoqing and Li Changluo both couldn’t help but move to the music, their bodies swaying as if compelled.

The python’s massive body writhed stiffly to the melody, as if straining to break free from the spell.

Li Changluo, too, found himself dancing, not even knowing what he was doing.

Only—

Couldn’t he at least put on his pants before dancing?

But then Li Changluo noticed a flaw in the guitar monster’s ability:

Every monster in the bar, upon hearing the music, was compelled to dance.

An area-of-effect attack? Friend or foe, all included?

The toilet paper monster, their leader, couldn’t help but strut toward the pole at the center of the stage.

And then—

With practiced ease and sultry moves, he began pole dancing.

Everyone was stunned.

No one had expected their boss to be like this.

Absolutely flamboyant!

He clung to the pole, occasionally dropping down into a perfect split.

Li Changluo thought, if I could just move right now, I’d kick him clear across the bar.

My eyes are being poisoned!

But the guitar monster, ever the loyal employee, saw his boss so lost in wild abandon, so unrestrained, and knew he had to put a stop to it.

He quickly ended his performance.

All the monsters ceased dancing at once, and Li Changluo scrambled to pull on his pants.

In his haste, a small glass orb rolled out of his trousers.

It was the one he’d gotten from Violet the fox demon last time.

Before, it had contained a swirling green liquid, but now it was nearly empty.

Last time, he’d subdued the Medicine-Seeking Monster with this thing.

Maybe it would work again?

Li Changluo raised the orb hopefully, threatening all the monsters in the bar.

But everyone just stared blankly at him, clueless.

“Is he…”

“Is he about to transform?”

“Maybe?”

“Why’s he just standing there?”

“Maybe he needs to shout a catchphrase?”

“Like… bahaha?”

“Oh!?”